Dear Future Husband, I been chasing that high

Dear Future Husband,

Do you know how sometimes you can experience something in life and in THAT MOMENT it feels almost surreal. It feels like you are dreaming but you’re living real life, in real time.

Have you ever loved someone like that? Have you ever loved from a place so deep that you didn’t even know you could? Suddenly, one day it’s over. Then you wonder, was it ever real or was it in your head? You ask yourself if you experienced this beautiful thing or only dreamed it because you’ve been conditioned to believe that’s how TRUE LOVE is supposed to feel. There are no answers only more questions.

I have….

The best way I can describe it is that euphoria you once felt or imagined is like a high. You begin to crave that high again but no matter where you turn or who you lean into you can’t catch that same feeling. You become like an addict chasing that first high again but it escapes you. In each new encounter you have hopes of feeling that feeling just ONE MORE TIME but there’s a void. Afterwards there is a sadness that washes over you. You wonder how can you get that high again.

So you go back to the place, into the arms where you once found that solice, that peace, that life affirming breath defining passion and you wait for the high. But even here it still escapes you. You are crushed, you feel lost and defeated. You begin to lose Hope. That’s scary when Hope has always been your constant companion.

Suddenly you begin to understand that other love and that high wasn’t the one for me, it was an experience sent to show me my CAPACITY to be in love. That high, wasn’t intended to last. But I now believe that’s how I will know you, when I feel that high again. I know it’s possible.

Just like I know that a love grounded in faith, supported by trust, sustained by honesty and fueled with passion exists. I know that my heart will skip a beat in your presence. I know that I will smile because you smile. I know that your happiness will be an extension of mine and mine an extension of yours. But we will both be filled with our own individual joys. I know that our love will fill the void and chase away the sadness.

I know that with you, eventually, I won’t crave the euphoric high. Instead, I will be sustained by the consistency. I will be fulfilled by what we are building together and comforted knowing that this time it is REAL.

Until then, I’ll continue to pray for your safety and your success. Sending you good vibes and all the love your heart and hands can hold.

Remember to look for me when you’re not expecting to find me. I’ll be waiting. I’m the girl with the hazel eyes and the heart that was sent to love you. You’ll know.

Love eternally,

Your Future Wife