Life is full of irony. Yesterday I watched The Great Gatsby . What an incredible movie. Not that I’m a world-renowned movie critic, far from it actually. I just happened to stumble across it while channel surfing. Initially, it was Leo that caught my attention, then the colors. Before long, it was the content. I’m convinced that the Universe has a way of speaking to you when you least expect it. For me the day had been a rather emotionally charged one. Primarily, due to the death of a close friends mother. I began contemplating things such as living /dying alone vs. the choice to remain single and focus on myself. On a larger scale about mortality in general.
As I thought through my choices I noticed I had began to second guess some things that up until that juncture, were decisions that I was quite pleased with. Decisions, that I felt suited me well. I’ve settled into a new lifestyle, with exciting career opportunities ahead of me. Among other things having just completed my first book and enjoying the experience of working through the publishing process and launching my own company. None of which I would have ever done if I had I spent the last few years focusing on finding, building and maintaining a romantic relationship. Those things were possible and are happening because I invested the last few years on healing, loving and embracing me. So for me to question those decisions it seemed a bit outrageous but I couldn’t seem to shake it. As I typically do in such times, I wrote down my feelings. Getting them out in the air sometimes is enough. I also meditated on them for an extended period.
As usual, the response came in an unexpected format from an unexpected place. The movie! I rarely even turn on a TV unless it is football season. So for me to have it on and sit still to watch a movie, in itself was ironic. There is a line in the movie where the narrator talks about Gatsby’s decisions relating to love. He says “He knew that if he ever fell in love, his mind would never again be free to roam like God. He knew that by falling in love, his destiny would be forever changed”. When I heard that line, I knew, that I was making the right choices. That indeed love is a wonderful thing, but it forces a change in focus and therefore and impact on destiny that can never be undone. For me, right now, I know that I am doing what I should be, focusing on the person that I need to focus on which is ME. That is not to say that I would not a some point like to be in a relationship again. Now, just happens not to be the time for that.
The irony in it all is that sometimes, you wait your whole life for that “one thing” that “one person” to come along and in the meantime, you forget to LIVE the days that you have. Then when that “one thing” comes along, you realize it wasn’t as you thought it would be.
So yes, in the interim, I run the risk of being alone. For me the reward outweighs the risk. I love my life and I’m very content with my decisions to LIVE and ENJOY life instead of utilizing my time in search of an unknown. I choose instead to Design My Destiny. As is typical, when the time is right, if the time becomes right, the Universe will provide all that I need. Part of having a healthy mindset for me, is to know that there is NO NEED TO SEARCH. To be present in the moment.
Live Life On Marz 